I don’t think this will be a very long post. It’s just that I’ve just come to an astonishing conclusion. Astonishing mostly because it has taken me nearly two years to realize that Kai REALLY doesn’t much like to do crafts!
I always knew it really; I think I was just hoping if I could offer up enough crafts, he’d find he liked it! Instead, I’ve offered up too much craft, and he hates it more (Ha! Amazing revelation?!).
I found since I’ve been writing this blog that when I’ve been stressed by something, writing about it and researching it has helped me let go a bit more….so I’m hoping this post with help me let go of my craft angst like it helped me let go of my strewing angst – and in actuality, the two are related since I did have a tendency to strew craft activities….which I have since curbed!!
The focus on craft stuff for pre-school/kinder-aged kids is overwhelming, and I think I kept pushing it because I thought it was going to be integral to Kai’s development or something…..and if you read sentences like this: ‘While participating in arts and crafts activities and play children are learning critical developmental skills.’ …it’s enough to make you panic….
And because I loved drawing as a kid, I guess I thought he would too. And, really, everybody just assumes kids like crafts….
We used to go to a kinder play-group last year in Tassie and it was all free-range craft stuff, you didn’t HAVE to do any of it. But Kai didn’t like it, and eventually refused to go. I asked why. He said ‘It’s all craft stuff. It’s TOO HARD.’ (add dramatic whiney voice, and you get the picture!).
He finds drawing hard work. Especially colouring. Occasionally he will colour a whole picture, and it visibly wears him out, and he’ll say something like ‘Phew. That was hard work.’
He likes cutting and scissors, but not really making anything with what he cuts. He uses the glue – but mostly in potions…although he does occasionally go on a craft bender and make a bunch of stuff with glue…
He mostly uses craft sticks to stir potions….
But is he really much different to other nearly 5 year-old-boys? And does it actually matter that he seems to be missing the craft gene?* *Interesting note: Brett also remembers hating drawing and colouring, and only did it when he was sick in hospital when he had bad asthma. He hypothesizes that was the only time he was capable of actually sitting still and thereby completing a drawing or picture! Ah, Y chromosome…you’ll always be a mystery to me!
The second part of the quote I put above reads: “Physical, social, and cognitive skills development are essential skills in each child’s development.’
Well, yes, of course they are. But can he only learn them from crafts? I think not. He learns them from doing outside boy stuff..climbing, cycling, swimming, swinging.
I feel like society has put this pressure on us to think all kids should like crafty activities…and part of me (although I can’t substantiate my claims!) thinks it’s also to do with how school has changed that we expect boys to like the same kinds of craft activities as girls…..
Reading more of the article above, I noticed these dot points from a variety of categories, about why crafts are supposedly important to kids development:
* [learning to] participate in rule-based tasks
* [learn to] follow simple instructions (these two are under social skills….not sure why!)
* increased concentration time
*learn that increased focus can lead to task completion
*[learning to] avoid distractions
* learn to overcome frustration to complete a task
Now, I may be jaded, but these points specifically seem to smack of edu-speak …..and are really only aimed at getting kids ready to sit down and shut up at school….(and I suspect Kai’s inherent dislike of ‘typical’ crafts – colouring, drawing, glueing – would be yet another reason to label him hyperactive in school…..yeah, ok, I’m definitely jaded!)
I don’t doubt that crafts are one important way to increase development skills such as fine motor coordination, imagination and creativity, I’m just saying they’re not the only way, and also these particular dot-points are completely irrelevant to any kind of important development except ‘school readiness’…they prime a child for the school situation.
Researching this post, I googled ‘child hates craft’ and came up with nothing (this didn’t ease my worries!) But, then I googled ‘what if he doesn’t like crafts’….and blissfully discovered that I’m not alone!!!
This forum has some other mom’s of boys with the same issues, who offer sound advice (STOP pushing the craft on boys who don’t want it
And this also has some other options for what they term ‘craft refusers’ (tee hee!)
But what do we do when it’s rainy or we can’t think of anything else?Well, when I think about it, I just need to broaden my idea of what I consider a ‘craft’. Kai loves moonsand and play-doh, and one of the articles talks about ‘free-flow vs product’ crafts…I guess these are more free-flow….with the pressure of finishing a product removed…they are also more tactile and physical…
We also like dinosaur digs…which I suppose can loosely be considered a craft activity (especially when you build the dino at the end!)!
So, I do feel better. I’m not alone! And if anyone reading this also has a craft-averse boy (or girl!), please leave a comment, and I’ll feel even better!
I’ll keep the craft box full. Because, as I said, occasionally Kai does go on a craft rampage…and really, it doesn’t cost much to stock – cos I’m not gonna buy stuff from the Steiner shop for my ‘craft-refuser’! (though, I do spend more on felt-tip pens and coloured pencils, as the cheapo one’s truly are rubbish!).
I know I need to stop pushing it. But it’s haaaarrrrdd! So, for me (to come back to when I get frustrated!) and for others with anti-craft kids, boys or girls,…here’s some boy-friendly craft’s even Kai likes – which are also inherently strew-able into life!
*Moonsand – yeah, it’s messy…suck it up – it could be paint all over the floor instead!
*Play-doh – make your own, it’s cheaper and better! (Kai likes to put his dinosaurs in the moonsand and have battles….and also likes to make prints and truck tracks in moonsand and play-doh)
*Tyre-track paintings – do this outside, or really cover the floor with sheets! Get a variety of toy trucks and cars with wheels of different sizes, and paint of different colours – paint the wheels (or drive through the paint – even better!) and then drive all over the canvas….. (these look cool, but don’t really take up a whole lot of time, unless you get a MASSIVE canvas…oooh, that is a good idea! We’re gonna do it! Yay me!)
* Dinosaur dig kits (these are expensive though, so I’d recommend buying the biggest you can find so it takes a while to dig out the dino and then put it together!)
*Water balloon bomb paintings. Definitely do this outside! Pin/clip large pieces of paper to an outside wall (that you don’t mind getting paint on – or else cover it with a plastic sheet). Fill water balloons with (cheap!) paint and fling them at the paper!
If anyone else has cool boy-friendly craft ideas, please add a comment! And apologies….this ended up a long post after all!!
And a final picture from Kai – inspired to draw after a Scooby-Doo episode…this is a ‘Hex Girl’ he drew this week….(the long things coming out of her mouth are apparently vampire fangs!)…
Ah, I love your unschooling insights Jo.
I guess it’s easy to get into the school mindset and assume that whatever the education system deems essential really is essential for every single child. And it says something for how strong the societal pressure is that someone like you – a person pretty confident about unschooling – gets stressed. Yet most probably the activities at kinder are decided on the basis of how cost effective they are, how easy to supervise and clean up they are, how little likelihood there is of kids getting injured/poisoned, and as you said how quiet and easy to manage the children will be – in other words, a host of considerations other than what the kids will get most out of. Kai does loads of great stuff, but some of it wouldn’t work in a kinder environment with only one or two adults for a crowd of kids.
Not so sure about the boys/hyper/uncrafty thing though. As you know, my boy would be far too hyper for school, yet he’s not “boyish” at all – he loves to sew, knit, colour, cut, paste, etc. We’re trying to strew the other stuff like kicking balls and wrestling! I think there’s an ideal strewing attitude, where you offer something, and just let them respond. They might do the activity as envisaged, or ignore the activity, or use the ideas/materials in a totally different way. (Being an anal control freak, I tend to be hoping that the activity will be completed precisely as per instructions.)
Personally I hate crafts. In the sense of you have to follow directions and the end result should look like:
I enjoy sewing, but for the life of me a pattern is tricky. It’s easier for me to try to make what I want over and over until I figure it out, than it is to sit and pin, trace, cut, sew etc from a pattern.
Maybe it’s because of how I feel about crafts, but the girls rarely have crafts – however, we often do crafts.
A low-temp glue gun, sticks, plastic containers, bits and pieces from a round the house, whatever the girls find. Becomes other things. I’m attempting to create my first scrapbook – and when I’m working on it I have out my fancy scissors, punches, papers, etc and the girls love to join in. I have paper for them, and they use all my supplies as they see fit. I don’t know if they’re actually trying to create something, or just having tons of fun destroying paper in as many different ways possible, but they’re having fun.
Yesterday was one of the first days I had a craft actually set up for them. We made valentine’s day mailboxes for each family member with the intention of making the valentines tomorrow. Ella had a blast making hers, but was very angry when I told her it was a mailbox. She insists it’s a valentine. She’s the creator, I’m just the one who spent an hour cutting out felt hearts for a two minute craft.
I really dislike doing crafts.
As you rightly said there are lots of ways to encourage the same skills in crafts in other areas. There has been a huge surge in crafting online that is based on following the rules and finished outcome that’s fixed and looks good. Naturally, we all feel that pressure to be the same but it’s good to see that you are thinking of your family and making choices.
As you know, I had and have a few in my family who refuse Craft activities. They come and go with what they want to do. Okay with me. We do other activities and spend a lot of time in free play discovering as well as a structured play or partially started things to offer a new perspective.
In general, boys do have a more difficult time with crafts partly to do with genes and you’ll know from your family what boys were like or your partner when he was younger and partly boys have a harder time because their primary carer, often, is a female and our expectations are to do crafts because it’s what we did. There are lots of other things like lack of knowledge or time,idea, experience etc too. I know this is a generalisation as there are many boy households or boys where this isn’t the case. You may like Minds of boys- Gurian
We do them a disservice if we don’t give them the skills they need to survive, if they are going to school but it doesn’t mean forcing them into crafts either.
You are right it is very important that we talk about crafts. It’s up there with my thoughts on doing crafts related to festivals only on festival days. Who heard of doing anything with hearts in May? Only February right? and the general reluctance of most to avoid messy play altogether (clearly excepting you )
I’m not perfect just an observation of myself and others.
Thank you all for your comments – i really liked your article Melitsa, and ‘craft refuser’ was such an apt description for Kai!
Mamadandelion – lol! You really do sound like you dislike crafts! I guess i like some, but i don’t have much patience….i did like to draw when i was a kid though..
Is – I think Brett was just trying to figure out why he only did drawing when he was super sick, and that was his hypothesis! He was unable to sit still and concentrate to colour and stuff (unlike #1)…
Looks like heaps of awesome craft happens at your place, Jo! Love the truck painting and water balloon ideas! Craft around here is more about the process than the outcome and I think perhaps that’s the difference between craft at our place and craft at the local school. Xan loves to cut paper in the same way you described Kai cutting paper. There’s never an actual ‘thing’ that comes out of it, other than a whole lot of teeny bits of paper. But she loves it. And it’s doing some awesome things for fine motor skills.
Not sure about boy craft though – isn’t all craft just for everyone? Some kids will be drawn to certain things above others. Just allowing access to the materials and seeing what they do with them – complete freedom of self expression – is key with crafty stuff and fostering enjoyment of it. Having said that though, have you tried painting with your feet? Big piece of news print on the grass, moosh paint between your toes and run!!
Love the word ‘moosh’ – that is our nickname for Kai! lol! So, we’ll have to do it now!
I think what i mean about ‘boy’ craft, is more ‘boy-friendly crafts – that boys will like, as well as girls….i think, as you rightly said, schooly craft is more geared toward product, and also more ‘sit down quietly’ craft (drawing, colouring, sewing, etc)…which are often inherently hard for younger boys to do (and some younger girls – no doubt – i was one of them!)…
Crafts that boys will like (as well as girls) i think are less obviously described as crafts – play-doh, moonsand, etc…and big, messy, crafts that use ‘large muscle groups’ (quoted from a developmental page! lol!)…
[…] few weeks ago, I wrote about Kai being a craft refuser. Not keen on your typical crafts of gluing, colouring and drawing, he’s more of a free […]